


Met You in a Dream, Loved You Through a Nightmare

by caratsymphonies



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Coma, Doubt, Dream World, Dreams vs. Reality, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Woke up and everything was a dream (?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29950305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caratsymphonies/pseuds/caratsymphonies
Summary: Seungkwan and Hansol, living on opposite sides of the globe, were struck at same time, leaving them in deep slumber for who knows long. Although they were on different ends, they’re seemingly next to each other in a dream, unsure whether or not every moment was real.The world is turning an emotionless gray, time is running out and feelings started to get mixed in the picture. There is a sudden fear all throughout, a tingle down their spine that makes them feel a little more heavier.Stuck in a poisonous sleep, two boys will have to face what they’re afraid of. How will they learn to have courage?
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Fallen Asleep

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!!! Depictions of scary things (like something you would have a nightmare about) it isn't necessarily violence but it might make some people uncomfortable
> 
> hehe this is my first fic here so please be nice ;-; im not exactly a writer

It’s all weird how everything leads up to this very moment.

There’s a certain nuance to their situation, the timeframe being too exact to be called a coincidence and the lulling heaviness that allows them to close their visions only to be brought into a different universe. 

It first starts with a boy, not older than the age of nineteen, walking around his neighborhood in the early warm afternoon, greeting everyone he crosses paths. Seungkwan has always been the blabbermouth, a joy-giver to everyone. Being the diva, he always had an undoubting readiness to make anyone smile and an initiative to lift up spirits. 

“Kwan-ah, tell your mom to come over again sometime!”

“Will do, Mrs. Park!” He replies, giving the old woman a little wave before continuing his walk. 

“Hold on, Kwannie~” Seungkwan hears Mrs. Park holler behind him, he turns around to face the elder woman. He opens his mouth to ask politely “What is it?”

She shows him a tiny potted plant. A red flower abloom, with petals folding around its bud. “It’s a poppy.” Mrs. Park explains, handing him the potted flower. Seungkwan twits his head in confusion as Mrs. Park only gives him a small smile, before walking the other direction.

He takes one last look at the flower in his hands, how it held a tall stance. Seungkwan has never seen a poppy before in his life but there is something about the flower that he feels as if he had a connection to. Flowers have meanings,  _ right? _

Undeniably, he now feels that something was going to happen. He continues his walk, flower pot in hand, now with an uneasy expression. 

It first starts with a boy, not older than the age of nineteen, walking around his neighborhood in the early warm afternoon, with a potted poppy in hand.

Then comes the blow, a swift physicality that jabs Seungkwan head to toe. A vehicle hits him, and everything else around him.

They say you know you’ll die when life flashes in your eyes, Seungkwan sees his mother and his two older sisters, hovering before his small frame. He then notices the next scene where he first went to school, the moment when he realized he was gay, and the moment he came out, and then it all comes back to this. 

Collision, colliding between two spaces, with every action comes a reaction. Seungkwan feels as if whole body is broken, his arms, his legs, his torso, his  _ well  _ everything. He felt his arms slowly lose grip of the potted flower, as a white-silverish vehicle rams into him from behind. He falls, and falters, and now he’s on the ground, in the middle of a broken place.

Amidst all the immense destruction, a flower stays tall, high and mighty, blooms on a fine (yet not really fine) day. It doesn’t take long before sirens come into the scene. His body gets pulled on a stretcher, a certain heaviness on his face.

It doesn’t take long for the physicians to learn that he wasn’t going to wake up, or at least, not any time soon.

  
  
  
  


**\----**

When Seungkwan wakes up, he’s in a place he’s unaware of. Instead of the sterile smell of a white mundane hospital room, he’s greeted with a valley of fresh red flowers. He could also see contrasting colors on the farther side. 

There’s a fresh aroma around him. He breathes in the floral scent from the valley, and feels his stresses subside from within him. He felt at _ peace _ .

And as if his legs had a mind of his own, he started  _ running _ , through the grass and flowers, through the field. He screamed his lungs out in the serene atmosphere, as if he was the only one there. 

And he believed he was, raising in his arms towards the blue sky as the fresh spring breeze. He felt free. 

Until he spots blonde dandelion fluff poking out of the grass. 

“..Who’s there?” He clamors, being wary of the figure. The owner of the blonde dandelion fluff arose atop the grass.

“Hi?” His voice was deep and gruffy, and Seungkwan thinks he’s dead because _ gosh _ he looks like a gift from the heavens. He had fluffy blonde hair and eyes that were gentle yet sharp, and foreign yet not so foreign face.

“I’m dead right? You must be an angel? That kinda sucks, I died really young.”

“...What- wait if you’re dead, then I’m dead too.”

There is an obvious confused tone in both of their voices. “From what I remember, I was run over by a car.” The other looked at him with concern before opening his mouth, hesitant to speak.

“I fell off a building.”

Seungkwan lets out a heavy breath. “I’m Seungkwan, Boo Seungkwan.”

“I’m Chwe Hansol,

  
  


_ and I think we’re both dead.” _

  
  
  
  


**\----**

“Hey Hansol..” Seungkwan calls out, looking towards the now pink sky. They’re both seated on an uphill near the valley of flowers. The sun hitting the horizon and the sky turning into hues or orange and pink.

“What is it?” He says, looking out to the stretch of the landscape.

“If we were really dead, wouldn’t there be more of us here? You know, like more dead people?”

“I’m not really sure how life works but yeah I did kind of question that a moment ago.” Hansol says, and Seungkwan giggles at his absurdity.

“Do you think… that perhaps..

We could still wake up?”

“That I also don’t know, but.. I would at least like an explanation or something. I mean I haven’t had the need to pee or eat so I think we are dead?...

But then again, I also don’t feel like I’m dead, if anything I feel the most alive right now.” Hansol answers truthfully. There’s a cool breeze that passes through them, one that Seungkwan breathes in as if he reminds himself that he’s alive and awake,

_ Yet  _ something about the place, about the valley, felt like a dream.

And before they knew it, the sun was setting, the pinks and oranges darken to a dark shade of purple, and maybe just maybe they still have a little bit of life inside them.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**\----**

“So tell me about yourself Hansol.” 

Seungkwan asks out of the blue. They were both situated next to each other in a patch of grass staring towards the clouds up in the sky. They both slept beside each other the night before, huddling next to the other for warmth. Luckily Hansol wore a coat before dying apparently so they were able to use it as a makeshift blanket. 

Hansol thinks before speaking out loud “Well.. I’m nineteen years old, currently living in New York with my mom and was born there but moved to Korea when I was five then went back a couple months ago.

-I have a cat named Jazz, but she’s staying with my sister and dad, and.. I died because someone pushed me off a building.” 

Seungkwan tilts his head, he has a few questions that he should probably  _ not _ ask, so he tries to move the conversation by telling Hansol about himself. “I’m Seungkwan, I was hit by a car and now I’m here. I have two sisters and I like to sing.” 

“Sing for me, will you?”

It’s sudden, from their laid down position Seungkwan gets up and sits straight. 

_ I know nothing is forever but I still can’t let go _

There is a voice that comes out of his mouth, one that Hansol isn’t sure if it was the other. “...Seungkwan?” He puts himself up, the other still frozen after he had said a chant.

All of a sudden, Seungkwan starts moving again. “Hmm.. What was that again?” 

There is a pause in between them. Hansol doesn’t know if he should speak up about what just happened, because he himself doesn’t understand.

“...Nothing.”

Hansol must’ve been mistaken. He thinks to himself that this dreamlike world with this wonderful person has some flaw to the system.

He now has more questions, whether the place they were in was real, whether they were actually alive.

Was Seungkwan actually real, or was he just a figment of his imagination?

  
  
  
  
  


**\----**

The both have decided to actually explore more of this odd world and try to find more people (if there were any). Since they never felt hungry or the urge to use the bathroom, they never really searched for food in the area other than the flower fields.

“Hansol! I see trees!” Seungkwan points out and as a matter of fact, there were very tall fir trees planted near each other.

“Wait- Seungkwan-”

Seungkwan quickly runs downhill towards the forest, leaving the other behind.

“Kwannie! Be careful!” 

Luckily the other didn’t trip down and was able to hear the other. Seungkwan waited right in front of the forest for the younger to go down the hill. “Umm.. Are you sure we can go in there?” Hansol asks, looking in the eerie foggy forest. 

“Why? Are you scared?” Seungkwan teases, then starts walking towards the trees. “Hansol~ I might leave you.”

Hansol gulps before walking slowly towards the older.

Out of nowhere, Seungkwan raises up his hand as the other looks at him with confusion. “I can hold your hand.” He says with genuinity, and Hansol’s face softens, he hesitantly takes the older’s hand.

Seungkwan leads him inside the forest. Hansol’s face flushes from the feeling of holding the other’s hand. He was less scared now, thankfully, he was now distracted from the warm feeling the other’s grip gave him.

Fortunately, the forest was smaller than expected so once they entered they could already see an opening.

Seungkwan suddenly hears a voice.

_ When will my son wake up?! _

“Do you hear that?” Seungkwan asks warily. The blonde looks from beside him and shrugs.

“Do you mean the ocean?”

“Ocean?”

Then he hears it again.

_ He’s only nineteen for God’s sake! Are you even doing anything?! I find out that he’s in a coma and you- _

Then he runs, faster than ever. Hansol gets surprised when Seungkwan pulls his arm and brings him to the exit as quickly as possible, both of them now out of breath.

“Seungkwan, are you alright?” Hansol asks, care traced in his tone. “Yeah, I just-”

“...heard something, that’s all.” Hansol knew something was up, the older was more jittery than usual. “Are you sure?”

“H- Hansol..”

“Yeah?”

“I think- I think I’m alive.”

  
  
  
  


**\----**

“So we're in a coma?”

Hansol asks, they had just exited the forest and had walked a little farther away. They can already hear the sound of the ocean clearly and can start feeling the grains of sand under their feet.

“Yeah.. I think…” Seungkwan answers, still confused about the whole subject matter. “This whole thing must be a dream then.. You’re not real.”

“From what I remember, I am real. I was born, living in New York and Hongdae, with my  _ now  _ broken family. As a matter of fact, you could also be not real and be part of my imagination.”

“Then how are we in each other’s brains? While we are asleep? I’ve never met you in my life!” Seungkwan questions, and Hansol is left with no words. 

“I.. don’t know..”

  
  
  
  


**\----**

They have decided to classify each other as real people, for now.

“This beach is beautiful.” Hansol says, out of the blue, looking beside him to see Seungkwan staring out to the sea.

“If only it was real. I suppose it’s best that we make the most out of this dream.”

Hansol nods, then looks back down.

....

It’s silent again, the only sound heard being the buzzing of the waves as they crawl unto the shore. Seungkwan dips his feet deeper in the sand. He’s a bit afraid to leave his feet too deep.

“There’s this beach back in my hometown.” He tries to bring up a conversation. Hansol faces him again. “And where is that?”

“In Jeju. We always go there during my birthday. It’s very beautiful and refreshing in Hamdeok beach.” Seungkwan explains. “Speaking of which, I never even told you my age. Sorry about that, I’m nineteen also, born on sixteenth of January.”

“You’re older than me then. My birthday is February 18.”

“Cool.”

…

Another short silence. The calm before the storm. Hansol wants to speak over the awkward atmosphere but there was something stopping him from doing so. Maybe it’s the thought of Seungkwan not being real, gosh, how much Hansol desperately wants him to be. 

His thoughts were disrupted when Seungkwan let out a small shout, taking his feet out of the sand. He looks down and jumps in fright. When Hansol, checks what was wrong he notices the black beetle on the sand and a spooked Seungkwan. Hansol laughs “Calm down Seungkwan, It’s just a bug.”

Seungkwan lets out a loud huff in response “Don’t tell me _ you’re _ not afraid of insects.” 

“I’m afraid of many things but insects aren’t one of them.”

“Well then we are even then.”

“Yeah..”

Seungkwan gives the younger a huffed smile. Hansol could only grin at the older’s antics. 

“I’ll protect you from all the bugs Kwannie~” He says, his tone laced with care. Seungkwan leaned beside Hansol, as the other held him staring into the direction of the sea as the waves hit the shore. They breathe in the scent of the ocean, a saltiness that tickles their breaths.

“I’ll protect you.” Seungkwan says.

_ I’ll protect you...  _

  
  
  
  


**\----**

They fell asleep, beside the shore.

They’ve only met a few days ago but they stuck together, they needed to after all. But even if they barely knew each other they have gotten so much closer the past few days.

Now they’re exploring again because as Seungkwan said “We’re dreaming of beautiful scenery, might as well make the most out of it… Plus, I will die if we stay here two seconds longer.” Hansol laughs at the older’s shenanigans. 

They’re still walking on the beach, looking for the edge of the forest so they don’t have to cross it. Hansol stops for a moment when he sees something, a red glimmer. Seungkwan turned back when the younger made a halt. 

“Hansol, we should probably get going.” Seungkwan states, and the other turned back to him.

The thing is, Hansol doesn’t keep walking. “What’s wrong?”

“There is a timer?”

“A what?”

“Look behind you.”

And when Seungkwan turned around there it was, floating in mid-air, a timer that resembled a digital clock.

01:00:00

…

  
  


“It isn’t moving-”

00:59:59

00:59:58

It was then when Hansol noticed something in the far horizon…

The ocean was turning gray.

“Seungkwan run.. Run now!”

_ Got to get away, I can’t hesitate anymore. Everything turns gray. I carve out my fantasy and run away, before the poison spreads, I  _ **_have_ ** _ to get away. _

00:59:47

  
  


**\----**

They’re running, faster than ever in their lives. Hansol looks back for merely a second to look at the impact. The world was turning gray colored. He isn’t sure what would happen if the somewhat emotionless color were to reach them.  _ What would happen? _

He would also like to question the levitating timer that followed them.

00:58:59

It somehow was reminiscent of a video game, but they themselves didn’t know what they were getting into. “Hansol, where do we run?”

Hansol has no idea. They both have no plans. They’ll have to keep running away, for now at least.

“Anywhere, just away from the gray.”

“We can’t just keep-”

They both halt when a ravine stops them from running. When they look back, they can see the dull gray color inch towards them.

“Hansol, we  _ have _ to jump.”

…

He’s afraid..

  
  
  
  


**\----**

_ He found himself on the rooftop of a five-story building, with his best friend, whom he met at school. _

_ “Hansol, we _ **_have_ ** _ to jump.” _

_ His spine tingles at the words of his friend. His throat felt as if there was a knife holding him back. He suddenly couldn’t speak.  _

_ “But.. I’m scared..” _

_ Hansol reasons. He is afraid, but he’s not sure how to tell that to his depressed friend other than saying it straightforwardly. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ “The world has no more need for us. My only purpose, my dear Toby died. Your mom is too broken, your family is too broken, to care for you Hansol. We  _ **_need_ ** _ to do this.” _

_ Hansol wishes he was brave enough to talk back, or brave enough to jump. He wishes he had the courage to say he did not want to die. _

_ He did  _ **_not_ ** _ want to die.. _

_ He stares into the ground far away, and swallows a gulp. _

_ “I can’t do it-” _

_ All of a sudden the air gets pushed out him. His best friend pushed him off the building. He can see him jump too just after his fall. _

_ Before the large impact he thinks to himself. _

_ I don’t want to die.. _

_ I don’t want to die. _

_ I don’t want to _

_ I don’t want _

_ I don’t.. _

  
  
  
  
  


**\----**

“Hansol, we  _ have _ to jump.”

Seungkwan states. The gap between the ravine was short enough for them to jump over, but one simple mishap could lead to their demise.

“I..can’t-”

“Don’t worry Hansol, I’ll be next to you.”

Hansol looks at Seungkwan, who had his eyes hold truth and assurance, and it’s what reminded him that he wasn’t alone. He was being cared for. He still has a chance, he still has a choice, he still had him.

Hansol takes a deep breath. “..Okay.”

“We’ll jump on three.”

“One..”

“Two..”

“Three!”

They jumped together, over the deep ravine, towards the other side. They land roughly on a green patch of dewy grass, taking deep breaths. The grass being wet that it stuck onto Hansol’s blonde hair.

He’s thrilled to say the least, emotion overcoming his sense of fear. He jumped.

Seungkwan gives the younger a fond smile, cold water enveloping his skin. He usually hates the cold but the warm feeling inside his soul left the chilly feeling buried underneath. They both have their back laid on the ground. Hansol looks at Seungkwan, who was originally staring at him, and gives him the most gleeful expression. His eyes forming crescents, and lips showing a wide stitch smile, his dandelion fluff hair covering the moons formed. 

Without any hesitation, Seungkwan moves his fingers towards the fallen strands. Hansol blushes at the touch, a tugging feeling on his heartstrings, and suddenly he isn’t afraid anymore.

_ Love me, someone who can’t cross this line  _ ; ‘I was able to get to the other side, because of  _ you. _ ’

  
  
  
  


**\----**

The grayness was getting closer, creeping towards the ravine.

Then it stopped, just before it reached the other side. Hansol notices that there is a tiny stream of glowing blue water at the bottom of the ravine.

“It stopped there?” Hansol says, pointing to the water source.

Seungkwan takes a look at the glowing water “We need a plan.” He then looks back at the timer floating beside them.

00:47:22

“We stay away from the gray until time runs out. We follow this blue water and find the source then stay there.”

“Sounds good.” Hansol agrees, following Seungkwan as they start walking following the stream towards the mountains.

_ Someone tell me what should I do. _

  
  
  
  
  


**\----**

“Can you hear it?” Hansol asks. There is a sound of water rushing in the distance. “Yeah.. Could that be the source?”

“I think it is.”

There was a patch of gray in front of them covering their path towards the water.

“What even happens if we go in there?” Seungkwan asks and the younger shrugs. “Maybe we’ll disintegrate or something.”

They both watch as a goat enters the gray area. It doesn’t disintegrate, thankfully. “I will sacrifice my finger.” Seungkwan says with confidence and leans his hand closer to the color. He himself didn’t know where it came from, maybe it’s the fact that they’re dreaming and not actually living.

“It didn’t disintegrate. I think it’s safe to walk through?”

“Let’s just get out quickly.” Hansol states, and Seungkwan nods. 

Seungkwan warily approaches it, then takes a step inside.

00:34:27

It’s suddenly foggy and dark. He can’t find Hansol.

“Hansol?”

“Hansol! Where are you?”

Seungkwan shivers, he’s alone and can’t see anything. He tries to continue walking, trying to get out of the gray, but he’s lost, he seems to be going towards nowhere. 

He then walks into a table, covered with a white cloth. There are plates and a platter on the table, and four people on the chairs, something that would come from a horror movie when the protagonist would find something in the middle of dreary white fog.

“Uhm hello? Can you help me find my way out?” He asks the seated figures, looking at them with scared eyes.

They don’t respond.

“Can you please help me?”

Then he notices- no it  _ can’t be _ . One of the seated figures was Mrs. Park with her signature hairstyle and the other one next to her was his mother and the other figures were his older sisters.

And they were dead.

For some reason, the platter on the center of the table was calling to him, luring him in like bait, and pulling him like a magnet. He puts his hand over it, unconsciously rubbing the metal before raising the platter.

“What the?” 

He’s never seen anything scarier in his life, It was Hansol.

His severed head on a platter, blood disgustingly seeping through the bottom of his cut neck.

Seungkwan looks at it with watery eyes, petrified by the sight of his head. He doesn’t know what he’s seeing nor understands but he doesn’t want to see it ever again. He doesn’t want to.. He doesn’t want to.. 

Then as if that wasn’t scary enough the four figures turn their heads and speak. 

_ This is love, consuming all of me; All of my fears, my inner scars. _

  
  
  
  
  


**\----**

Hansol’s vision is blocked by white fog.

“Seungkwan?” He calls out but it seems like stepping into the grayzone was a big mistake. 

He tries to walk around to look for the older. He ends up stepping on a piece of paper and a quill. He leans down to pick them up and read the paper.

_ Sign this paper to remove Seungkwan’s memories of what happened during his coma after he wakes up. _

The first thing Hansol thinks of is why in the world he would even consider doing that to Seungkwan. The second is that if this paper will actually do what it says then it means that Seungkwan is real, and alive, and breathing.

But again, why would he do that-

He hears soft crying in the distance. He keeps the paper and quill in the pocket of his jacket.

There’s a new clearing in the fog, and that’s when he sees Seungkwan crying in his hands. Hansol immediately runs towards him, worried by the mere sight of his tears.

“Seungkwan? Are you okay?! Are you hurt? What’s wrong? Why are you crying-”

The older is hugging him, arms around the younger’s waist. It takes a few moments before Hansol hugs back. Two boys in the dull grayzone hugging each other.

Hansol can now see an exit, now that the fog started to clear. He holds the older’s hand and leads him to the end of the grayzone.    
  
00:34:27

They were finally out but the gray was spreading ever so slightly. “Kwan, I’m here for you too you know..” Hansol comforts him, holding him as if he was about to break and shatter.

“Are you really?” He says, it’s sudden again. The older caressing the younger’s face, as if it was a rare gem. 

“I’m sorry.. I would tell you but I want to forget about it…” Seungkwan sniffles and Hansol could only look down with guilt.

“Yeah.. Of course.” 

_ I don’t want you to open your eyes to this kind of danger. _

  
  
  
  


**\----**

They’re running, again. It seems to be an endless loop now. They can hear the water coming from the mountainous area, which is a plus by the least. 

The spread was creeping up to them though. They needed to hurry.

They walk through the mountains and find a waterfall, the source of the glowing blue water.

“Woah..It’s beautiful.” Hansol says as Seungkwan looks around in awe. Luckily, Seungkwan’s cries reduced to sniffles but Hansol still feels bad.

00:15:12

“What even happens at the end of the timer?” Seungkwan asks, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“I think we wake up.” Hansol answers, but the truth is that that outcome is what they could only hope for. 

They find a small opening beside the waterfall that allows them to enter behind the waterfall. 

“Do you want to tell me something before we wake up Seungkwan?” Hansol asks him.

“I have a lot of things on my mind, and I feel like I’ll regret it when I wake up and find out that this was all a dream.” 

00:10:04

“There’s not much time left..” He says, feeling suffocated by the pressure of the timer behind them.

Seungkwan is unsure, confusion blossoming from the inside of his heart. He wants to tell Hansol everything, but the vision of his head on a plate frightened him. It lingers throughout the back and front of his mind.

“I-in the gray area. I saw your head, on a platter and I thought about so many things.. And most of them were about you, because how would I find my way out of there without you. I ended up crying because although I know I’m asleep I badly wish that you were real, that you’re alive. I kind of want to sleep forever if it meant I’d stay next to you, but that scene was so frightening I just- I just don’t want to see that scene in my mind when I look at you.. But I- can’t.

I can’t.. I feel like it will haunt me forever..”

_ Turns out, the love I wanted to give you is hurting me more. _

Hansol knows what he has to do. When Seungkwan isn’t looking at him he takes out the paper and quill and signs it. It’s an impulsive decision but it was for Seungkwan, and he would do anything.

_ You must erase your memories of me; I’m poison. _

00:08:16

“Seungkwan.. I know it’s only been a couple days but I don’t think this world was a mere coincidence. I was so afraid but we made it this far.. If I won’t be able to see you for a long while I just want to say..

I’ll miss you, so damn much, and I’ll find you again.”

Hansol doesn’t know where his courage came from because he is now all of sudden nearing Seungkwan with a hand on the other’s chin.

“Can I-” He asks before Seungkwan leans in, closing the gap in between them.

It feels like a dream, maybe it's the fact it was only a mere dream, but they couldn’t think of that in the moment, because they were together. Seungkwan felt warm in Hansol’s hold, due to the cool ambience of the tiny cave behind a waterfall.

“This might be too soon, but I really love you Seungkwan. And I thank you too, before I woke up here one of the main reasons why I got into a death situation was because I thought I lost my purpose. I thought the world didn't need me anymore. I thought that I was going to make the world worse by being scared all the time but you made me have courage. I really can’t thank you enough.”

00:03:57

Time passes, it feels faster than usual. The seconds become so elusive that the moment grows into something overbearing. They spend their last moments in their dreamland behind the tranquill glowing water. It’s at this moment, where both of them feel as if the lines blurred into each other that you can’t even point out where and when everything happened. 

When real life fades into a dream and blurs through a nightmare, when the world turns into shades of gray, there still a feeling that passes through the lines and shades,

But the thing is, was it fear? Or was it love?

  
  
  
  
  


00:00:59

“I’ll find you again Seungkwan.”

“But? What if you aren’t real?” Seungkwan questions, everything is mixed together and there is still that uneasy feeling of doubt that lingers in the air.

It’s when Hansol approaches Seungkwan and hugs him, it’s warm and comforting. It makes Seungkwan feel safe, as if the warmth  _ was _ in fact real. “I’ll still find you, regardless if I’m real or not. I’ll still find you, regardless if you’re real or not. I’ll still find you, even if I’m in New York and you’re in Korea. I’ll still find you, because I’ll miss every single day without you. I’ll still find you, because I want this dream to become reality.”

“I’m still afraid..” Seungkwan whispers, its hushed soft, like a delicate flower.

“You don’t have to be anymore.” The younger speaks, and Seungkwan almost believes him. “I’ll miss you.”

00:00:17

“Me too..”

…

They spend a few seconds staring at each other. Seungkwan wants to engrave the look Hansol gives him, how his eyes sparkle and reflect the serene glow of the waterfall. 

Hansol thinks that Seungkwan’s got beautiful eyes too. His lashes looked like soft blankets he’d like to sleep on. The gentle irises were like flowing water in a calm stream. 

00:00:13

“I.. love you too, by the way..” Seungkwan says shyly. Hansol giggles when the older turns red.

“Me also. Very much so..:

00:00:03

“I’ll find you again Seungkwan..”

00:00:02

“I promise.”

00:00:01

  
  
  
  
  
  


**\----**

00:00:00

Seungkwan wakes up to the sound of beeping, and quiet snoring. The room was white, wailing for a sense of color. He turns his head to see his sister seated on a chair asleep.

He doesn’t really want to wake her up, being satisfied with the allay atmosphere. He didn’t want it ruined by her screams or anyone coming in.

He doesn’t remember much, but he feels there is something missing, something he oh so badly wants to remember, something that he had forgotten.

“What happened?” He asks himself, out loud.

Which was a mistake because his sister woke up. “SEUNGKWANNIE!!!!” She screams, then jumps towards the younger to give him a tight hug.

“Please don’t go into a coma ever again!” She pleads.

“A coma?”

“Yeah..

You were asleep for a week.”

  
  
  
  


**\----**

Seungkwan is staring towards the horizon, a fine line that cuts the blue sky and the navy ocean.

It was the day in which Boo Seungkwan turned twenty years old. The age where he finally gets to move to Seoul for university. 

Seungkwan leans on a railing on the deck, making him have a view that shows all the beautiful things on Hamdeok beach. He can see his two sisters from afar having a tiny water fight on the shore. His mother and little cousin were creating a sandcastle that ended up being destroyed by his two sister’s water fight which led them to their demise with their mother holding up a slipper and chasing them aggravated. 

There’s some dandelion fluff hair the pokes out under the railing. A foreign looking boy raises himself up with the rail and faces Seungkwan.

Seungkwan would’ve screamed in fear, or being the diva he was would complain to the other because he caught him off guard, but for some reason he just giggled.

“So who are you and why do you decide to cover my view on this fine morning?”

“Chwe Hansol, and I made your view much more beautiful.”

They continue to banter on the beach deck. When Hansol ‘finds out’ that it was Seungkwan’s birthday he greets him especially by treating him with ice cream. Seungkwan thanks him for the free dessert and invites him to stay with him a little while longer.

Seungkwan doesn’t remember him but Hansol is alright with that. He doesn’t want Seungkwan to look at him with fear and doubt. Maybe one day, he’ll tell him about it.

The beach may not look as beautiful as the one in their dreams because of all the people

But it’s real. Seungkwan is real. Hansol is real. 

They don’t have to wake up anymore knowing everything was a dream.

This is a story about two boys that met in a dream, faced a nightmare and doubted reality, oh yeah- they fell in love in the process. 

  
  



	2. Special: Fallen in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath led to new begginings.
> 
> A special chapter for the two after they both went into a coma.

Hansol meets Seungkwan again, and again and again, until the number of their fingers were too little to the times they have touched and the little dreams they had when they were younger (okay maybe like two months younger) were nothing more but a distant memory (from two months ago).

Enduringly, Hansol’s got this fire that sparks when they meet, and an excuse to say that he’s jealous when Seungkwan gets to fall in love again, cause that is what he expects right? They meet after a long and tiring nightmare only to rekindle the love they had when they lost each other.

Well, It’s a lot harder than Hansol’s imagination. Seungkwan’s oblivious, dense, all things in between. Oh, how badly he wants to meet their foreheads, kiss him again, and again, and again.

Hansol kind of forgets that Seungkwan has forgotten him, what he looks like, who he is, what they have been through. He’s got this constant reminder with every word that comes out of the older’s mouth that he doesn’t remember and that they woke up with everything being a dream.

The younger has probably told himself, many times, that he can wait, but the frustration welling up in the pit of his stomach that comes with every shun that comes from Seungkwan’s mouth contradicts the statement.

“Hansol-ah, here.” He says, dropping a lovely velvet pink gift-bag in front of him, containing a captivating white bow.

“What’s this?” Hansol asks, confused by the present in front of him. “I don’t think it’s my birthday.”

“No, but it was. Last month, remember? You didn’t tell me it was your birthday until I found out yesterday!”

He was right, Hansol had been so caught up with Seungkwan that he forgot about his own birthday. “Ah, I must’ve dismissed it. I don’t really do much on that day anyway, so It doesn’t make much of a difference.”

And with that statement, Seungkwan gives him the most questioning look he has ever received.

“What the hell do you mean you don’t do much on your birthday?”

“Huh- I celebrated it at home with my m-”

“Not on my watch!” He suddenly grabs the blonde’s wrist, taking him forcefully to an unknown destination.

“Where are we going?” He asks, and Seungkwan gives a huff of reassurance (that wasn’t so reassuring). 

“You’ll see.”

**\---**

When they come to a sudden stop, they are now in front of a dreary looking rainforest in a small area in Jeju. Hansol gulps, his mind remembering the scary forest from their dreams.

“Are we going in there?” Hansol tries to make himself seem brave, even when deep down he wants to drop everything and run away.

He’s uneasy, feeling the sweat of his palms collect and his breath go slightly uneven at the sigh of what seems to be a larger forest than the one in their dreams. He’s scared. The familiar feeling of fear trailing down the length of his spine, spiraling towards his stomach. The tremble that reaches the tip of his fingers-

“Of course not.”

_...What? _

“I know you’re scared of forests, Hansol. We’re going in there.” Seungkan points to what seems to be a small pastry corner shop.

“Wait how did you know?”

“How did I know what?”

“How did you know.. that I was scared of forests?” He asks, hesitation at the end of his words.

And when Seungkwan opens his mouth to answer, he’s left frozen. “You must’ve mentioned it once.”

_ He.. remembers? _

\---

Seungkwan comes back from the counter, bringing a gray tray with him towards their table. He places it down, revealing the fudgy chocolate cake with a yellow birthday candle. The older brings out a pair of party hats (because he somehow carries them around all the time).

He clasps his hands together and takes a deep breath. “Happy birthday to you-”

Those words had already taken his breath away, he had almost forgotten that Seungkwan  _ sings.  _ He’s like an angel, voice from the heavens, sound made for melodies.

_ “Happy birthday to you.” _

It’s not his birthday, far long from it, but he feels like he’s taking a new step into the world.

_ “Happy birthday to you~” _

Seungkwan reminds him that he’s alive, that he was born, that he was not only born into the world in pursuit of who he was, rather it was who he wanted to be and he wanted to be with Seungkwan.

_ “Happy birthday dear Hansollie~” _

Hansol wants to hold every dear moment with him together, love in all aspects, memories that have never left, the gray turning into an array of boundless colors.

_ “Happy birthday to you!” _

He makes a wish.

_ I wish that I wouldn’t be afraid to tell you how much I love you and that you feel the same. _

**\---**

The day ends with Seungkwan bringing him back home, well, if home was found in a tiny motel on the seaside of Jeju. 

The day was filled with intense happiness. From meeting Seungkwan in the morning, to singing ‘Happy Birthday’ in a tiny pastry shop in the corner of the road.

“You still haven’t opened your gift.” The older reminds him, the sky darkening as the sun hits the horizon sharply. His face filled with anticipation for the other to open the gift. 

For some reason, he feels onslaughts coming from the back of his mind, like this was the moment that he has been waiting for for the past two months and that with every sharp breath held he’s closer to calling the other his.

He carefully unties the ribbon from the velvet pink gift-bag, slightly loosening the present.

He takes out what seems to be a USB covered with pink dyed wrapping paper.

“You can look at it later. I’ll be going now. Good night Hansol. Sweet dreams~” He leaves a bubbly smile as always but as he turns around Hansol notices a glimpse of a worried face.

Hansol brushes it off,  _ I must be seeing things on a dark night. _

When he enters his room, he turns on his laptop and inputs the USB revealing a singular mp4 file.

It’s a song.

The screen is black throughout the duration of it, making Hansol focus only on his voice.

_ When you look back _

_ I will be standing right there _

_ For those moments we’ll remember _

_ for us _

_ All your words _

_ Everything is alright _

_ Everything is Alright _

Seungkwan appears in the video, with all his glory, the bubbly face bright but there seemed to be a small glint of nervousness.

“Hi Hansol! So you may be wondering why the hell did I sing this song and give it to you, well, I don’t really know why either. I can barely remember from the back of my mind telling you that I would sing for you. But at the same time I can’t remember where I told you that, when I told you that, but I guess that doesn’t really matter now, does it?” He giggles, eyes forming crescents. Hansol feels his chest lit up.

_ Does he remember? _

“Anyway so I have many things to say aha. I guess I should go straight to the point haha.”

“I like you, Chwe Hansol. I like you a lot-”

Hansol suddenly pauses the video. His mind goes haywire. His wish came true that day.

Without any notice, nor any thought, he runs, like gray was chasing him all over again, like a nightmare was coming but he was the one chasing, the one chasing for his dreams.

He runs and runs and runs, again and again and again. Until he sees him slowly putting weight on the heels as if he was hesitant to leave in the first place.

Once Hansol gets ever so close enough, he reaches out his arm for him and turns him around, pulling him closer, foreheads touching, breaths on breaths, a few more inches and their noses would touch and their lips-

Seungkwan kisses him, soft and gentle, like a soft breeze on a sunday morning. Lips encapsulating the warmth it felt like back then when they were asleep, when they dreamt of the world where they had each other and each other only.

Hansol kisses back, like the rain that comes, the sound of pitter-patters on a roof, the calm serenity of glowing blue waters. 

“Seungkwan.” He says once they move away.

“I like you too.”

And the light that comes from his face, alongside the soft glow of the crescent moon, the dandelion puff covering his sight, the scent of the ocean of a cold night.

Even when everything was dark, it was never gray, heck it was far from it.

Hansol kisses him, again and again and again, and he doesn’t get tired of it.

**\---**

A year later.

Seungkwan finds himself reading a book on a sunday morning, beside the asleep man he loves in bed. He would usually get his coffee first thing in the morning (after admiring Hansol’s face of course) but his legs don’t give in especially after last night’s activities.

Hansol stretches his arms, reaching to the side for his  _ boyfriend  _ in the place he now calls home. Home was now the apartment they owned in Seoul, living together in the midst of the busy city.

Hansol wakes up ethereally, eyelashes fluttering, (his now) silver hair, long jawline and bare chest. The first thing he does is smother Seungkwan with kisses, brushing his lips against the older’s neck while he reads.

“Good morning~” He greets, peppering smooches on Seungkwan’s face, disturbing the other’s reading.

Seungkwan rolls his eyes and drops his book on the bedside table and pulls the younger closer to properly kiss on the lips.

“Good morning, love.” His heart flutters with the endearment. Hansol caresses his face, on a sunday morning when dewdrops fell from the grass in the cool ambience of the Seoul apartment.

“Ready to get up?” Hansol questions.  _ When were they ever ready?  _

“Not really.” Seungkwan replies, encompassing himself between the younger’s arms. “The weather makes me wanna stay here and be lazy.”

“Well, we can still be productive in bed now, can we?” He smirks, giving Seungkwan an allusive stare, pulling him down so that he’s lying on his back.

“Hmm.. I suppose.” He returns the look , attacking the other’s lips with his.

He’s literally living the dream, except now it’s real. Now every night his dream was always beside him. Now Hansol can wake up and hold his dream between his arms, too see him the moment he wakes up and goes to bed.

Again and again and again, he falls in love.

This is a story about two boys that met in a dream, faced a nightmare and doubted reality, oh yeah- they found and fell for each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> feedback is appreciated haha

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me on @caratsymphonies on twitter,
> 
> tbh i still dont know how to write on ao3 lmaooo


End file.
